Many of the infirm were wheelchair bound looked after by a companion or nurse who would escort them to the dining room. Old Robby the lift attendant would by prior well tipped appointment meet them on their floor and whisk them down for their meals. Abandoning his lift he would guide their chairs through to their table, apply the wheel brake and attach the securing chain to an eyebolt under the table.

Deftly pocketing his tip Robby went off to collect his next poor soul. The occupants sat securely lashed to the floor, brake applied, let the ship roll I’ll be all right thought the passenger. Unfortunately some of the incumbents were a trifle overweight placing unfair strains on the security measures. A tremendous roll of the ship could with luck make the chair and table part company and off the chair would go with a howling occupant on board still clutching his knife and fork.

 If you have ever played pinball in an amusement arcade you would have an idea of the chairs passage around the room. Cannoning off other diners gaining speed on the downward roll it would take several determined waiters to eventually corner and stop the runaway chair.

A slightly more sinister form of entertainment was when a passenger failed to finish his meal and I don’t mean he was too full. Due to the large number of very old passengers a certain percentage never made it past their starters. There were many occasions when diners ended up head down in the soup. Now obviously this put a bit of a dampener on the occasion but it also created a work up for the engineers,

Let me explain.

In those days burials at sea were the norm otherwise we would arrive in port with freezers crammed with stiffs, not a pleasant thought.To enable the deceased to be committed to the deep with decorum the ship at six in the morning would slow right down for the coffin to be slipped gently from under their national flag. The sorrowful widow would sadly wave her loved one goodbye before a restorative nip of brandy with friends in the Captains quarters.

We down below in the engine room would have spent two hours slowing the turbines down a complicated procedure which wasn’t like just taking your foot of a car accelerator. Once the body had departed, the bridge would ring for half ahead then full steam ahead leaving just a ripple and a memory behind.

On one occasion the second engineer was a trifle energetic with the full steam ahead pushing the stops fully open. The ship surged forward with a massive bow and stern wave. The bereaved still with her hand in mid-air gasped with astonishment as her husband reappeared, his coffin surfing on the ships wake, ‘funny’ she said ‘Arthur could never hang ten when he was alive’!